In Ministry

When asked to list some of the most high stress jobs today, most people would list firemen, police officers, EMTs, surgeons, nurses and those in the military.  I doubt many would list those in ministry.

I think most people have the vision, flawed as it may be, that those involved in the ministry are...like Jesus.  They have a peace that passes understanding, a smile on their face, and an unending supply of strength and encouragement for others.  To many, working in the ministry would be the equivalent of having a job at Disneyland.  It should be the happiest place on earth.

Now, before you think I am about to bash the ministry, I am not.  I am blessed to be part of an incredible church staff who ministers to an awesome body of believers.  I love using my gifts and talents to serve those on the staff and in our church body.  I love what I do, but I never realized how exhausting it could be to do something that you love.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised.  Jesus often retreated to solitary places after times of great ministry.  If the Son of God took time to rest, I guess I should expect that we would need that time as well, probably more so in that we are not the Son of God.  But it still surprises me every time I come to this place.

I think the rub comes in that ministry is so relational.  Most of the things on our to-do lists as ministry staff have little to do with things.  They represent people - people we are called to serve.  And the more we serve these people, the deeper our relationship with them becomes.  They have found a place in our heart.

Maybe once you have been involved in ministry for awhile, you learn to set boundaries emotionally, but I haven't got there yet.  I have said before that I am kind of an all-or-nothing kind of girl, and I put my heart into everything I do.  When things go well, that is a good thing.  It makes for joyous celebration and encouraging times in ministry.  But in the same moment, a discouraging word can cloud even the best of times because I have done my best and it wasn't good enough.  I am guessing I am not alone.

I look at the emotional ups and downs that I face as a ministry assistant, and I can't imagine the stress that our pastoral staff and directors face on a daily basis.  They are the ones who are at the bedsides and in the counseling rooms.  They are the ones walking in the trenches with those who are struggling and talking with those who need Christ as their savior.   They are the ones on the front lines.  They serve day in and day out all the while balancing their own families, and personal struggles and spiritual lives.

Being part of a ministry staff is a 24/7 calling - and it is stressful.  It is sometimes easy to lose sight of the goal, but every so often God opens the window of heaven for a brief moment, and we are reminded of why we do what we do.  We see God at work.  And that makes all the difference.

A Ministry Assistant

I have been given a very special gift. I have the privilege of serving as a ministry assistant at my church.

For some this may not be a big deal, but it is huge for me. You see, when I was a little girl, even before I was a Christian, I thought it would be cool to work at a church. My aunt was the church secretary, and I was totally convinced she had the best job in the world.

Fast forward to a few years ago when my husband and I started attending a new church. We got involved early on with children's ministry which, for me, led to connections that would allow me to volunteer one day a week in the office as a receptionist which led to a volunteer ministry assistant position which later became a paid opportunity. I hadn't really thought about my aunt when it all began, but when it all became "official," I realized that God had granted me the desire of my heart.

One thing that I honestly wasn't prepared for was the relational aspect that has developed over the last few years. That probably sounds a little weird since Christianity is totally based on relationships, but it is far different than I could have ever imagined.

First of all, I don't serve a thing - a ministry. I can't even wrap my head around how that would work. I serve God first, my ministry leaders second and ultimately the people of Pathway. A thing you can be objective about, disconnect from. It's a whole lot harder with people. At least it is for me.

Another thing that makes it very different is that these people aren't just people - they are family. We have shared the joys of engagements and weddings and babies and people accepting the gift of salvation. We have also experienced the heartache of the loss of babies, divorce, the death of friends, saying good-bye to those God has called to other ministries. As a staff, we have experienced these things together - been there for each other. And we do this every day. Unless you have experienced it, I don't think you can understand. I know I certainly didn't.

And, as with any family, there are those difficult times too. We get on each others nerves and get frustrated with each other and even hurt each other at times. Can't really say I was prepared for that either, but I have come to realize that is part of the cost of being close.

As a ministry assistant, I get to devote my time, talent and treasure to doing what I love to do - serving in ministry - but it is also a place of vulnerability...at least for me. And, vulnerability can be a very scary place. I think that is another cost, and definitely one that I was not prepared for. I am still not, but I am learning (slowly) that with vulnerability comes authenticity, and authenticity is always good. Without it there is no integrity, and I am all about integrity.

To me, being a ministry assistant isn't a job. It is a blessing that I don't take lightly. It is a gift, a very special gift.

Sidelined

As I sat in a waiting room today, I was listening to a story about how important it is, especially for women, to be able to separate their work life from their home life. The journalist was discussing the underlying feelings of guilt that woman has when she is trying to balance her roles as a wife, mother and employee. She ended her story with the following suggestions:

1. Learn to use the word "no" and realize that it can be a sentence - no explanation necessary.

2. Choose a set time when you turn off your cellphone and laptop and stop doing any other work related things and walk away.

There may have been a third. I don't remember, because I was sidetracked by the humor in a female journalist that actually seemed to think those suggestions would go a long way toward solving the problem.

Don't get me wrong. I understand the necessity of turning off work mode. I just think that is a bit over-simplistic. I can turn off my work laptop, not check my phone, and pretend that no one in my office exists, and I will still be thinking about what I did or didn't get accomplished, whether what I have accomplished in a day is "enough," and working through the details of something that I am "oh, so close" to getting finished.

Of course, it works both ways. I can leave my house, get in my car, and get ready to face my work day and I will still be thinking about what I did or didn't get accomplished at home, whether what I accomplished before I left is "enough," and working through the details of something that I would really, really like to getting finished at home.

I will admit that I am much better at drawing the line than I used to be. I would like to say it is because I made a conscious decision to "make 'no' a sentence," but that would be a lie. It is because my boss saw that I was dangerously close to burn-out and made me promise to adhere to a few boundaries even when I didn't want to.

I am thankful for his leadership in that. I don't think I realized when I started as a ministry assistant how engrained in the ministry of the church I would become. I have been employed in both secular and religious fields throughout my career. I have worked as a legal secretary, a human resources assistant, an administrative assistant to the General Superior of a convent (and no, I am not, nor have I ever been, Catholic), assistant to the director of engineering at a computer-aided design firm, and now as a ministry assistant to many of the adult ministries of our church. Never have I been able to fully shut out my professional life from my home life, but it has never been more difficult than when I am in ministry.

Today, I have been somewhat sidelined by some unexpected physical limitations, but as I have been forced to rest this afternoon, I have come face to face with the fact that I have once again been getting a little too close to the edge of blurring the lines. It is kind of like the old saying of "being so heavenly minded that you are no earthly good" - only with a twist.

I have been so busy trying to minister here on earth that I have been neglecting the "heavenly minded" part. You see, God knows that my brain is spaghetti. He created me that way. He knows that I can't do ministry 8:45-2:45 and then shut off that part of my brain and do family from 2:46-8:44. Not happening. But He provides still waters that He wants me to lie down beside. He provides strength when I am weary. He provides rest for my soul. But in order for me to take advantage of these things, I need to spend time with Him. Certainly, I need to pray, but I also need to read the Bible and other stories of people who have struggled in some of the same areas I struggle yet have come out on the other side stronger.

It amazes me how God continues to place the right people in our path in unexpected ways to provide just what we need. This past weekend, my husband and I were invited last minute to attend a marriage retreat. The first session speaker talked about the importance of self-care and finding rest and refreshment in God. He reminded us that even though Jesus was fully God, He wasn't called to heal the entire world while He was here on earth. There were times when even He went to a quiet place to rest and be refreshed. When I heard the message, I didn't realize how applicable it would be for me this week. But God knew. How amazing is that?

I know this is a bit long, but I have to add a funny story that happened while I was writing this post. My husband came into the room where I was writing. He had been playing video games with my sons for an hour or two. He was reading a text on his phone and the first words out of his mouth were, "Oh, I forgot about work." How does he do that????!!!!! :)

The Perils of Being on Church Staff

I missed 5-Minute Friday this week, and while I am a little sad, my reason for missing was a really good one. I was at a marriage retreat - a marriage mentor retreat to be exact. The care ministries department at PCC sponsored the retreat as a training session for current marriage mentors as well as an introduction for those who might be interested in becoming part of the team. They also invited a few couples to come and just evaluate the format of the retreat for a potential church-wide marriage retreat next year. We were one of those couples.

As we discussed whether or not to accept the invitation, Jay told me that he had been wondering why we were not already marriage mentors. I can't say that his question came completely out of the blue, but I was a little surprised. He had never mentioned it before. I also was wondering if we should we consider getting involved, especially since we were going to be taking advantage of the retreat.

As I thought about the commitment though, I realized that I was in danger of falling into what I think is one of the biggest perils of being part of a church staff. You see, as a member of the staff, you get to hear about all the really cool things that are going on in every ministry of the church. You get to hear the stories of people who are touched by what is offered, and you get to hear the passion and heart of those who are leading those ministries. I think it is sometimes easy to get swept into adding "just one more thing" to an already full plate. Maybe that is a generalization. Maybe it is just me, but I don't think so.

I sat and watched today as couples came alive as they shared about mentoring. There was a spark. A definite calling. It was an excitement about ministry that is fueled by a love for what they do and those whom they serve. And while I hate to say it, I think it is something that sometimes gets lost among those of us whose are lucky enough to get paid to serve in the church. It's not that we aren't passionate, or that we do not love our church or our God, but I think we sometimes get so caught up in "git 'er done" mode that we lose some of the joy of working from a place of passion. We fall into the mentality that we don't do it, it won't happen - which in all honesty sells God a little short. It's like we don't believe that God can provide someone who IS passionate about it, so we have to do it ourselves.

Would Jay and I make good mentors? I don't know. Possibly. But, are we called to it? I don't think so. At least not right now. And that is okay. It's not that we are uninvolved or not committed, actually it is just the opposite. I am very passionate about my job as a ministry assistant, and supporting the ministries that I serve. Jay and I are both involved in small groups and other ministries of the church, and I think for right now, that is enough.

I am so blessed to have been part of this weekend. We had a ton of laughs, made some new friends, reconnected with some old friends and learned a little bit about ourselves and God. So, although I missed 5-Minute Friday, I can tell you that I am grateful that I was able to spend the weekend with such a amazing group of people whose hearts beat to strengthen marriages at PCC. And, I am grateful for the courage to say "no" to something good so that I will have something better - passion and energy for those ministries that I currently serve. I love what I do, and I am grateful to be part of such a wonderful church staff - perils and all.