Something about Nothing

I find it amazing that I can have so many thoughts flying around in my head and yet when I attempt to write them down, I don't even know where to begin. I know that some are not fans of the Harry Potter series, but there is one thing in particular in those stories that appeals to me. Professor Dumbledore is able to clear his head when he needs to think by simply removing the clutter from his brain and storing it until it is needed. How AMAZING would that be?

There have been so many changes in my life since the last time I posted a blog on my Verizon site. Overwhelming, life changing things. Things that I am still processing. Sensory overload. I am finding it really hard to rest beside the quiet waters like a good sheep. I feel like running in so many different directions, and yet I am frozen. It's honestly kind of weird for me. There is so much going on and yet so little that I can grasp. So little that I can control.

I am so thankful for the prayers of those around me, even though I struggle to ask for those prayers. I am beginning to see a different side of me. The real me. The me that scares me.

I am a huge fan of The Biggest Loser, and part of me wishes that I had the opportunity (and the guts) to do the show. As scared as I am of Jillian, there is part of me that wants her to break through the walls that I hide behind and help me to learn to accept the person I really am on the inside - even to help me find that person, because sometimes, I am not even sure what she looks like. And then, there is Bob. Bob is always there to pick up the pieces that Jillian breaks down and help the contestants see the beauty of who they are. He encourages them to be all that they can possibly be and that nothing is impossible.

The sad thing is that I shouldn't need Bob or Jillian because God is already my best coach and biggest cheerleader. He sees behind those walls, and He wants to break them down. He wants me to see myself the way He sees me. And as for Dumbledore, God wants me to give him all of those thoughts that I want to empty from my head so that I can rest in His peace. The only thing standing in my way - is me.

So for tonight, this first real post, is just a little bit of something about nothing. It's just a few ramblings filtered through a lot of random thoughts. But, it's also a glimpse into the chaos that rules my brain at times. Kind of scary, isn't it? :)