New Beginnings

I was struck a few minutes ago about the contrast of January and new beginnings. I mean, everyone knows that you make resolutions on New Year's Eve because January 1st is a new beginning. But as I walked around my neighborhood on an unseasonably warm evening, I noticed how everything is...dead. Oh sure, there was still the occasional left over Christmas display which was cheery, but the trees were dead, the grass is dead, there was ice and a few patches of left over snow. It could all be a little depressing if you think about it.

I will admit though that I did find beauty in the peacefulness. After the busy weeks leading up to the holidays, the chaos of a short first week back at work, and a very long day of training today, I was feeling suffocated. I truly enjoyed the week off between Christmas and New Year. I left the laptop at work and enjoyed downtime with my family, but it didn't take long for the pressures of life push their way back in as soon as schedules returned to normal.

I didn't make resolutions this year. No new resolve to lose weight. No new plan for how to have better devotions. No set reading list or bar to measure my success at any type of literary endeavor - reading or writing. In all honesty, probably because I knew they would be destined to fail. It's not that I wouldn't love to do any one of those things. I just know that at this season in my life, life is taking an extreme amount of energy on its own. Why complicate it?

Proverbs 16:9 says, "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps."

I have always understood this verse to mean that a man can set a goal, but it is up to God how he gets there (or if he gets there at all). Today I am seeing it in a new light. It's a very slight difference, but it changes everything. What if it means that man can plan his course and how to get there, but if he trusts God to lead him where God wants him to go, the steps he takes will be determined as in sure and solid?

For me there is a peace in that. As I trust God to lead me where He wants me to go - not where I want Him to take me, I can be assured that I will be where He wants me to be. It's kind of a cool thought, isn't it?

So my new beginnings this year, aren't really new beginnings at all. It's all about a new perspective.

Catalyst

Have you ever had a day, or week, or month when you have had so many things on your agenda that you can't seem to focus on any one of them? I am in one of those places right now. I have had so many things that I have wanted to post, and yet I either haven't had the time, or I have sat down to write and the words wouldn't come. I have come close to ceasing the blog, but it is still my thoughtful place, and I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Yesterday, I was blessed to attend Catalyst One Day in Chicago with several members of the PCC staff. It was an awesome experience. I fell in love with Catalyst last year when we were able to attend the full-blown conference in Atlanta. Yesterday we were treated to an all day event featuring Andy Stanley and Craig Groeschel, with a guest presentation with Bill Hybels of Willow Creek. The focus was on creating a healthy culture, and while I think we did gain a lot as a staff, I gained a lot personally as well.

I was excited about the event because Andy and Craig were my two favorite speakers at Catalyst last year. They have such a down to earth style of teaching and an honesty that is disarming. They shared a lot of great information that I am sure we will process in terms of if and how it applies to Pathway, but I was also challenged to rethink my priorities.

I struggle to disconnect. I don't know if it is the whole women's spaghetti brain thing or my insecurity, but I have trouble leaving work at work. I have been doing much better about leaving the actual work there, but it is hard to reign in my brain and push out all the work stuff to really refresh and be present at home.

That has to stop. There are so many other things that are important to me that are being pushed aside. Moving into the holidays, I want to be able to decorate, bake, shop and not feel like I have to cram it in here and there. With a 25 hour a week schedule, one wouldn't think that would be a problem, but it has been becoming so.

I have also been reminded of the importance of relationships. It's not that I had forgotten, but in the busyness of the everyday, relationships often get taken for granted. And then a friend (or two) is diagnosed with cancer. A family member is hospitalized with a life-threatening condition. A friend moves away. I run into a close friend and realize that I haven't talked with her in months, or I realize I haven't taken the time to visit another close friend who lives far away in years.

I love my job. I love the people with whom I get to serve. I love our church. But...I need to to be making time in my life for my job and lately I have been taking time from my job to live my life. This is not the culture I want to create for my family, or for myself. And the sad part is, I am fully responsible for it. It isn't expected of me. I have just allowed more and more of my thoughts to be taken captive by work than by home.

Yesterday's conference was more than a catalyst in name only. It was the catalyst I needed to realize what I was allowing to happen to make it stop. Are Andy and Craig still my favorites? Absolutely. I think I may owe them my life.

Missing Break

Today is January 7th - officially one week into the new year. So far, MOST of the New Year's resolutions are still in tact. There was one humorous incident that involved a work related resolution, but we won't go there...

I have to admit that I got a little spoiled over the holidays. Our offices were closed for several days over Christmas and New Year. It was nice to have a break, but the bestest part was that I got to read...a lot.

I am not sure why, but I think I have always loved to read. I can almost picture the library in my elementary school, and one of only a few flashbacks of high school involves looking for books in the library. My senior year of college, my course load included 19 novels. (That was NOT a fun semester.) And yet, I don't consider myself well read.

Maybe it is because I am not a big fan of adult fiction. I tend to lean toward teen and tween fiction. I have read the entire Harry Potter Series, but I have only read one Twilight book. I have read several books by Cornelia Funke. I have read Eragon and Eldest, and I started Brisingr a long time ago, but I have not read it yet. I also read a lot of Christian literature, but usually it is either a popular writer or someone that I have heard speak either in person or video.

I have a library card, but I must say that I think I have only checked out a handful of books from there. I am not sure why. I tend to buy the books I read - even though most of them I have only read once. I think there is something about the look and feel of a new book.

And then came my NookColor. I love my NookColor. I mean really love it. I have an entire bookstore at my fingertips! With just a click of a button, I can download any book that catches my interest, and I can carry as many as I want IN MY PURSE without worrying about damaging them and no matter how many books I carry at one time, they will always weigh the same! How COOL is that? :) Just a little excited. Sorry.

Over break my Nook and I had a lot of bonding time, and I loved it. I felt like I was growing as a Christian through the books I was reading and I enjoyed the time just being quiet. Now that break is over, I am finding it more difficult to find time to read. Part of it is schedule, but part of it is also that I have other things that are calling for my attention - this blog for instance, and decluttering my house - which is always a new year's resolution of mine. I miss my reading time.

So if my blog posts are a bit delayed in coming, I apologize. It's difficult when two of your favorite things to do to are read and write. They are a bit mutually exclusive. I guess as with everything there is a balance, but I have to be honest, I am looking forward to my next day off... :)

The Most Wonderful Day of the Year

This is my favorite time of the year. I love Christmas with all the pretty decorations and the opportunities to see the smiles of friends and family members. I love giving gifts and blessing others. But, very soon, it will be my absolutest, most favorite, bestest day of the year. January 1st.

It has been said, in this blog and in many offices and households which I frequent, that I am a perfectionist. I will grant you that this is not always a compliment, but overall, for better or worse, I have to own it. And there is something about January 1st that makes the perfectionist in me giddy (is that spelled right? Anyway...).

I spent today doing end of the year stuff in my office. I filed some finished projects, printed the end of the year budget report, created some new files for next year, and basically got my office cleaned up in readiness for the new year. It is my hope to do something similar tonight and tomorrow to my house...and my car. It's time to start anew.

I even gave this blog a new look!

2011 will also be the beginning of a new project for me. Becky Higgins' Project Life. Project life is basically a scrapbooker's dream and an OCD, photo-a-holic's nightmare. The goal is to take a picture a day documenting your every day life. You then use a very cool, color coordinated album kit to organize your photos with appropriate journaling tags, dividers, and so forth. By the end of the year, you have a (rather large) completed scrapbook of things that are important to you that you probably wouldn't have taken the time to scrapbook if it weren't for the project. I can't wait to see how it turns out. And, I can't wait to get together on a regular basis with several friends who are also doing Project Life.

I know that once 2011 has started, things will pretty much be the same as they are now, but there is something about the first day of a new year that reminds me that things can change. I don't think I am alone in that either. If I were, there wouldn't be millions of resolutions made on the first that probably will not make it until thirty-first.

So, in keeping with the spirit of the awesomest, bestest day in the whole wide world, here is my list of resolutions for the new year. :)

1. I will complete my Project Life album.
2. I will not freak out the first time I realize I forgot to take a Project Life picture on a given day.
3. On a similar note, I will not get out of bed for the sole purpose of taking a picture so that I do not miss a day of Project Life.
4. I will read at least two books a month.
5. I will actively participate in the Scripture Memory Challenge with the women's ministry at my church.
6. I will keep my car cleaned out enough that I can drive my friends to lunch on any given day without embarrassment.
7. I will finish my Serbia scrapbook.
8. I will finish the journaling and get my box of partially completed pages in a scrapbook.
9. I will get my children's scrapbooks caught up to their current year of school.
10. I will endeavor to schedule at least 12 family/couples/friends get-togethers - just for fun.

and on a more traditional note:

11. I will work toward having a more consistent, focused quiet time.

12. I will lose weight. (Goal is set, but will not be disclosed on this blog until it has been achieved.)

So there you have it. These 12 goals, along with continuing to work through personal issues while maintaining a positive attitude and strengthening my faith, and dozen or so other home and work related resolutions are the hot spots for 2011.

Even as I write this, a scripture verse is running through my mind...

In their hearts humans plan their course,

but the LORD establishes their steps. Proverbs 16:9 NIV

There were many things in 2010 that did not go according to my plan, and there were many resolutions broken, but I also know that I would not change where God has taken me throughout this year. I am most excited to see where He will lead me in 2011. I hope that you will walk with me on that journey. :)

What a Difference A Day Makes...

Tomorrow is a day - just like any other day of the year. Yet for many, me included, it is something more. It's a new beginning. It's a time for a fresh start. For some reason, we believe that because it is the beginning of the new year, none of the failures or disappointments of the past year matter. It's January 1st! We're invincible, right? :)

So, in honor of this magical day, I think it is time that I set some resolutions on the table. (Besides, what better way to ensure that I remain humble throughout the entire year than for it to be evident to all who read my blog where I am not nearly as invincible as I will think I am tomorrow. :)

My 2010 Resolutions

Body

• Oh, let's see...let's do something novel...let's plan to lose weight. I am not going to tell you how much weight I would like to lose, but I will tell you it is my goal to get back into my size 10 jeans.
• I also resolve to do something nice for my body at least 6 times this year. This could be a manicure, pedicure, massage, haircut, or anything that makes me feel pampered. Hot tub anyone?
  

Mind

• I will read at least 12 books this year. Some will be spiritual, but some will also be books purely for fun.
• I will scrapbook at least 25 pages - not including any pages scrapbooked at retreats.

Spirit

• This is a biggie. I am going to commit to going on a mission trip this year - and not just any mission trip. Assuming all goes as planned, I will be going to Serbia this summer. I am sure you will be seeing more about this in later posts, but suffice it to say, God is totally laughing at me right now.
• I also will be more committed to regular quite times and strengthening my relationship with God through the books I choose to read, scripture study and prayer.

So there you go. The plan for the year. That along with getting my house in order, being the best mom and wife that I can be as well as the best ministry assistant in the world. :) It looks to be a pretty extraordinary year. And, I know it's possible because tomorrow is the start of a new year. Right? :)