Points

Although I have never had the gift of prophecy, I would like to come forth at this point and let everyone know that I may well be the first person in the history of the world to die from the decision to start living a healthier lifestyle.

I have always struggled with my weight. Until recently I have been able to carry a bit more weight than others would have guessed, but now that I am old, it's a little (read "a lot") harder to keep some things hidden - weight being the most obvious example. A few years ago, I did a popular low carb diet and lost a lot of weight. In fact, as I was looking at my scrapbooks one day, I was actually taken aback by how small I was in the pictures. Unfortunately, I really like pasta and Mt. Dew, so the whole low carb thing - not so good.

Enter Serbia - bet you never guessed that was going to come into play, did you? I realized along with many other things, that while my weight has been a source of insecurity, it has also been a sort of security blanket. It has been a reason to not put myself "out there."

This has worked well for the most part with one glaring exception. My position at Pathway (and ironically my trip to Serbia) has provided me with several opportunities to be in videos shown during our Sunday services. Did I mention that we have a really big screen? I will leave you to your own visual - and for that I am sorry. :)

So, recently, I decided to join the myriad of people holding one another accountable for their weight by watching their progress (whose name I will only subtly not mention). I have had a long standing issue with this particular plan because the rebel in me doesn't want anyone watching my weight, so, of course, I joined on-line. Ha!

With the coaching and support of a couple of good friends who have been very successful with the program, both in class and on-line, I started my journey on Tuesday. My records day is Friday, and as of Friday, I had a successful week. Go unnamed plan!

There is one major drawback though. I began my long term relationship with caffeine when I was in college. I basically had to retake an entire semester of classes because I slept through them. Yes, I did party, but no, that is not the reason. I have incredibly low blood pressure. My doctor at the time gave me two options. I could pay a lot of money for a pill that would basically put my body into a state of fight or flight, or I could drink soda. Hmmm.

I really, really tried to like Diet Coke - or diet anything for that matter, but I just didn't feel good when I drank it. I found out much later that I am allergic to formaldehyde which is what aspartame becomes once your body ingests it. Yum. So, I moved on to Coke, then Pepsi, and graduated to Mt. Dew. Just as an FYI, I took the Pepsi challenge, and yes, I can tell the difference as any true connoisseur can.

So now, as I begin my journey toward a healthier lifestyle and less caffeine consumption, I remembered something that I have not thought about for years. When I have limited amounts of caffeine, I have limited amounts of blood pressure as well. One of those is a good thing. One - not so much.

I plan to continue my trek toward healthier living, even if it kills me - which it might. I have really struggled this week as I realized what a hold caffeine has on my body. I want my dependence to be on God, not on a drug. It's another friendly captivity.

I believe that God created me as I am - with low blood pressure and all, but I also believe that he calls me to a life of dependence on Him, not caffeine. So, I will seek to find the balance between Point A and Point B. And while I may falter at a few points in between, I will continue my journey in faith. You see, I also believe that the points that those watching my weight see aren't the ones that really matter. It's the points that God wants to teach me along my path that do. And, I always want my eyes to be open to what He wants me to see.