Retreat Reflections

One of the advantages of being away from home for any length of time is that it often makes you grateful for what you have.  For instance, although your queen sized-bed may not be the most comfortable one in the world, you might find that you rest better in it than say a double sized vinyl covered piece of foam on a piece of plywood when you only brought twin sheets and a sleeping bag - not that I would speak from experience or anything.

The retreat was a great getaway, although I missed several of my friends who are usually able to be there.  My friend, Betsy, and I had fun chatting, scrapbooking and making friends with the group of ladies seated next to us.  I completed 25 pages which is a little low for me, but there were no "drop-in" pages which tend to run the numbers up.  I would definitely call it a successful weekend.  Michael is now ALMOST a junior in his book (he's a senior in real-life), and I made a little more progress in my Serbia album as well.

I also did a lot of thinking, and I realized a few things about myself.  (Seriously, those of you who know me, don't laugh.)

1. I feel responsible for EVERYTHING.
2. I am an pleaser.  (Is that the right word?)  I take responsibility for everyone else's well-being - emotionally and physically - often to the detriment of my own.
3. Sometimes I just want someone to realize that I have struggles too.

I know that last one might seem a little odd to anyone reading this blog because I have been pretty open here with thoughts and feelings, but in my real life, as opposed to the faceless blogging world, I struggle with standing up for my needs, wants and desires.  I would like to say it is because I have laid down my own desires for those of Christ, but that would not only be a bit nauseating, it would be untrue.  I think it stems more from what I learned about myself this weekend.  Unfortunately, unlike Jesus, I am not omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotent, and trying to please everyone while not asking for anything in return is exhausting.  Sometimes I slip.

So, off I go into a new week with my new found knowledge of yet another area that God and I need to work through.  It seems as though life is coming at me from all sides right now, which either means I am doing something wrong, or more probably doing something right.  I am just going to keep hanging on to the knowledge that I am not who I was pre-Serbia nor who I was even pre-weekend.  God is doing a little bit each day, and someday this will all be a distant memory.  Until then may I recommend another song for your listening enjoyment.  I believe I heard God's voice through it this weekend, maybe He has something to say to you as well. :)

I Am New by Jason Gray

Here is a little snippet:

Forgiven, Beloved,

Hidden in Christ,

Made in the Image of the Giver of Life

Righteous and Holy

Reborn and Remade

Accepted and Worthy,

this is our new name...