Just Stop

Oh how I wish...I wish I could make it all stop - the doctor's appointments, the children's bickering, the constant noise, the mistakes I make over and over again, the chaos that is my life. There are so many times I just want it to stop.

But...

That isn't the way it works. The appointments will continue to come, the children will continue to bicker, there will always be noise, and I will make mistakes. God doesn't always calm the storm, but he wants me to...just stop.

This morning's sermon at PCC made me cry. I went into it not realizing how applicable it would be to my life, but as Pastor Ron wrapped up his sermon series on Sandyland, he hit a homerun to my heart. Today's message was on time - well actually, it was on taking time to rest.

• Rest to make room for God
• Rest to embrace my limits
• Rest to cultivate a deeper trust in God
• Rest to prioritize what really matters

He made a lot of great points about all of us having limits, and God is God and we are not, but that wasn't what really captured my attention. As he was wrapping up, he made the statement:

"Hurry weakens us to the attacks of the enemy."

The last few weeks have been really crazy. I have been caught up in appointments and meetings and schedules and making mistakes and fixing mistakes, and trying to be everything I need to be for everyone and failing at every step. I am exhausted. I knew I needed to stop, but it was just one thing after another, and I didn't. And...I have been weak when attacked.

I am not really proud of my last post. That doesn't make what I shared any less true, but I have realized that when I allow those feelings to take root, I have added sand to my solid foundation. God is God, and I am not.  I may not be able to see how it all works, but God can work miracles, and I discounted that. I traded hope for despair.

I am not sure what rest will look like for me in the upcoming days and weeks, but I have to just stop. I have to spend time being refreshed by the one who gives me my strength. Probably no surprise, but God has been speaking to me through a song recently.

You must, you must think I'm strong

To give me what I'm going through

Well forgive me, forgive me if I'm wrong

But this looks like more than I can do

On my own.

I know I'm not strong enough to be

Everything that I'm supposed to be

I give up, I'm not strong enough

Hands of mercy won't you cover me?

Lord, right now I'm asking you to be

Strong enough, strong enough

For both of us.

Well, maybe, maybe that's the point

To reach the point of giving up

'Cause when I'm finally, finally at rock bottom

Well, that's when I start looking up

And reaching out

(Chorus)

'Cause I'm broken

Down to nothing

But I'm still holding on to the one thing

You are God

And you are strong when I am weak

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength

And I don't have to be strong enough, strong enough

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength

And I don't have to be

Strong enough, strong enough

(Chorus)

Strong Enough - Matthew West

I will be resting in the promise of these words this week.  I KNOW I am not strong enough, and my prayer is that He will be strong enough for both of us.  But, I know that first, I have to stop fighting and let Him be God. Just stop.