Sometimes I Forget...

...that I have fibromyalgia. That the constant pain that I feel isn't going to go away, and that it is something that I need to manage.

...that on top of the fibromyalgia I have bone on bone in my neck and in my lower back. That the constant pain affects my moods, but that it can't control them.

...that I have a child with special needs, and although he is fully functional and many aren't aware of all that we go through, it is a difficult road to walk.

...that I am 45. That my mom may not always approve of decisions I make, but that I have to do what is right for me.

...that I struggle with a seasonal affective disorder which sneaks up and drags me down.  That I need to watch for the symptoms and catch it before it gains control.

...that I have amazing family and friends that are standing behind and believe in me even when I struggle with the deep-rooted insecurity and fear. That my value to them in not found in what I do or how I feel, but in who I am...and who I am is ok.

BUT...

God never forgets. He looks at me through eyes of love, and He wants the very best for me. He wants to carry those burdens that I tend to hold on to - thinking of them as "my cross to bear." Does it hurt Him when He asks to carry those burdens, but I hang on to them? Is He disappointed? Wasn't His cross enough?

The best part is, regardless of how I feel...regardless of the circumstances...regardless of how tight I am holding on, He is right there waiting for me to let go and let Him. And in that, there is freedom to be found. All I have to do is...remember.