Sidelined

As I sat in a waiting room today, I was listening to a story about how important it is, especially for women, to be able to separate their work life from their home life. The journalist was discussing the underlying feelings of guilt that woman has when she is trying to balance her roles as a wife, mother and employee. She ended her story with the following suggestions:

1. Learn to use the word "no" and realize that it can be a sentence - no explanation necessary.

2. Choose a set time when you turn off your cellphone and laptop and stop doing any other work related things and walk away.

There may have been a third. I don't remember, because I was sidetracked by the humor in a female journalist that actually seemed to think those suggestions would go a long way toward solving the problem.

Don't get me wrong. I understand the necessity of turning off work mode. I just think that is a bit over-simplistic. I can turn off my work laptop, not check my phone, and pretend that no one in my office exists, and I will still be thinking about what I did or didn't get accomplished, whether what I have accomplished in a day is "enough," and working through the details of something that I am "oh, so close" to getting finished.

Of course, it works both ways. I can leave my house, get in my car, and get ready to face my work day and I will still be thinking about what I did or didn't get accomplished at home, whether what I accomplished before I left is "enough," and working through the details of something that I would really, really like to getting finished at home.

I will admit that I am much better at drawing the line than I used to be. I would like to say it is because I made a conscious decision to "make 'no' a sentence," but that would be a lie. It is because my boss saw that I was dangerously close to burn-out and made me promise to adhere to a few boundaries even when I didn't want to.

I am thankful for his leadership in that. I don't think I realized when I started as a ministry assistant how engrained in the ministry of the church I would become. I have been employed in both secular and religious fields throughout my career. I have worked as a legal secretary, a human resources assistant, an administrative assistant to the General Superior of a convent (and no, I am not, nor have I ever been, Catholic), assistant to the director of engineering at a computer-aided design firm, and now as a ministry assistant to many of the adult ministries of our church. Never have I been able to fully shut out my professional life from my home life, but it has never been more difficult than when I am in ministry.

Today, I have been somewhat sidelined by some unexpected physical limitations, but as I have been forced to rest this afternoon, I have come face to face with the fact that I have once again been getting a little too close to the edge of blurring the lines. It is kind of like the old saying of "being so heavenly minded that you are no earthly good" - only with a twist.

I have been so busy trying to minister here on earth that I have been neglecting the "heavenly minded" part. You see, God knows that my brain is spaghetti. He created me that way. He knows that I can't do ministry 8:45-2:45 and then shut off that part of my brain and do family from 2:46-8:44. Not happening. But He provides still waters that He wants me to lie down beside. He provides strength when I am weary. He provides rest for my soul. But in order for me to take advantage of these things, I need to spend time with Him. Certainly, I need to pray, but I also need to read the Bible and other stories of people who have struggled in some of the same areas I struggle yet have come out on the other side stronger.

It amazes me how God continues to place the right people in our path in unexpected ways to provide just what we need. This past weekend, my husband and I were invited last minute to attend a marriage retreat. The first session speaker talked about the importance of self-care and finding rest and refreshment in God. He reminded us that even though Jesus was fully God, He wasn't called to heal the entire world while He was here on earth. There were times when even He went to a quiet place to rest and be refreshed. When I heard the message, I didn't realize how applicable it would be for me this week. But God knew. How amazing is that?

I know this is a bit long, but I have to add a funny story that happened while I was writing this post. My husband came into the room where I was writing. He had been playing video games with my sons for an hour or two. He was reading a text on his phone and the first words out of his mouth were, "Oh, I forgot about work." How does he do that????!!!!! :)