180

It's amazing what can happen in the course of a year. Last year at this time, I was preparing to leave the US for the first time to visit Serbia, a country I knew very little about. I can't even begin to describe to you the insecurities that I had going into that trip. Many were personal. Some were based in ignorance. Most were unfounded. All showed my lack of faith, although I would not have admitted that then.

My trip to Serbia was truly nothing short of AMAZING. I made some wonderful friends whom I miss terribly. The country was beautiful, and their food is WAY better than ours. I became a fan of Jaffa Cakes, and Serbian pizza. And I learned a lot about myself. I came back with an entirely new reality. (...and a few Jaffa Cakes. :))

The plan was to return to Serbia this year, but that opportunity has been postponed until 2012. I thought I was okay with it, because it would give me more time to save to cover the trip expenses. But this week, I realized in a new way how much that experience expanded my world view.

I had always heard that once you have had a cross-cultural experience, it changes you. I just didn't realize how much until I found out recently that two members of our Serbia team are headed to the Dominican Republic next month with another team. And...if I am honest, with myself and with them, I am a little jealous. The trip is different. It is shorter, and the work to be done is totally different. But, I now know what an incredible experience this will be for them. I know a little of what I will be missing by staying home, and I am a little sad.

Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled for my friends. I know that God will use this trip in a mighty way for them. There is just a part of my heart that longs to board that plane and learn some more - to experience more of life outside of the US - to build relationships with people of a different culture - to grow in my faith and share that experience with others.

It's a 180 from this time last year. And it is a positive 180. If I had known then what I know now, I could have saved myself a lot of stress. But I think it took that experience to help me grow into the person I am today. Kind of like a butterfly breaking out of a cocoon.

I still have my moments when I revert back to the safety of pre-Serbia; but those moments are fewer, and I am excited about that. I am so thankful that I was obedient to God's call to go. I will never be the same. And, that is a good thing. :)