When the words won't come...

There are some days when writing comes naturally. I love those days. I love seeing thoughts come together and watching the flow to see where it leads as I process through words. But there are also other days. Days when there are so many thoughts that it's almost like a bottle neck. There are so many things that I want to say, but nothing seems to want to come out. Those are the frustrating days.

I wish I knew where the problem lay. Sometimes I think it is merely overstimulation. There are so many things coming from so many different directions that I can't stay on track long enough to make a complete sentence. But other times, I fear it is something more. Regression. The fear that what I have to say will be misconstrued or not taken seriously. That I have struggled with something for "too long" in someone's eyes. That my thoughts and opinions aren't important enough. That no one cares.

It is in those moments that I want to protect myself - when past hurts win. Those are the moments that I doubt I will ever move past those hurts and be able to be honest about who I am and what makes me...me. Those are the moments I feel truly alone.